You might be a programmer/software developer/software engineer if...
1) you are primarily offended by the use of goto when someone tells you to go to Hell.
2) you know that Perl is not Pearl misspelled.
3) you don't think gems when you hear "Ruby."
4) you think programming language/platform when you hear the word "Java."
5) you know what a noop is.
6) you are aware of many different kinds of beans that have nothing to do with plants (JavaBeans, Enterprise JavaBeans, Spring beans, MBeans, NetBeans, etc.).
7) you refer to rearranging furniture or rearranging/cleaning your desk as "refactoring."
8) you are more comfortable writing code than writing prose.
9) you think the real bugs have nothing to do with insects or spiders.
10) you know that 10-9.9 is not necessarily equal to 0.1.
⇒ You Might Be A Programmer If... (GNU)
⇒ You might be a programmer if... (Clay Shannon)
⇒ You Might Be a Programmer if... (maxabout.com)